Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.


Michael J. Fox has a small one. 


Madonna doesn’t have one.  


The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.  


Clinton uses his all the time. 


Obama is one. 


Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.  


Liberace never gave his to a woman.


Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. 


Cher claims that she took on 3. 


We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. 



What is it? 

Answer below! (this is pretty good)

The answer is:  A last name!

ATD -at the doctor.
BFF -best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair.
BYOT -bring your own teeth.
FWIW -forgot where I was.
GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA -got heartburn again.
IMHO -is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR -on my massage recliner.
ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.
TTYL -talk to you louder!

What are some other ones?

*As with all of my “keepers”, I did not write these.  I just found them to be worthy of sharing.

Maybe if he wasn't chubby, he could limbo lower...

Do you ever get the feeling that your life and dreams are “on hold”?  It’s almost as if you’re in an airplane that has traveled around the world to get to this wonderful destination, and now you’re stuck, circling in a holding pattern until “the tower” gives you permission to land.  Looking out your window, you can see the “promised land” below, filled with freedom and excitement.  Suddenly, a voice comes over the intercom stating that one of the engines is on fire.  Now your mind races back and forth between the thrill of “getting there” and the potential reality of a crash landing.  This has been my life for the past six months.

I really can’t go into too many details at this point.  Suffice it to say that this has been a period of great growth in my faith and in my relationship with the Holy Spirit.  I have often written of taking chances (Sometimes, you just have to go out on a limb. After all, that’s where the fruit is.) and living life one day at a time (Living in the Day), but sometimes it’s difficult for those two things to coexist.  We take chances because with great risk comes great reward, and we look forward to and work toward this great reward.  Living in the day requires being content with exactly where you are and what you have right now, and being grateful for the chance to live out this and every day.

And so, here I am, right where I have been for six months.  Sky high one moment with victories large and small.  Sick to my stomach in the next moment with fear of failure.  It’s an uncomfortable existence.  But there is so much to celebrate.

My home has not been destroyed by a tornado, like many in Birmingham, AL, Joplin, MO, Reading, KS, and other places.  My entire community has not been washed away like many who endured the tsunami in Japan.  My children don’t have cancer, while countless families are waging that battle.  I don’t worry about where my next meal will come from, like so many living on the streets.

Lord, please forgive my selfishness.  I wasn’t guaranteed today, and yet you allowed me to live it and filled it with blessings.  Please help me to see through the distractions of life to the everyday miracles around me.

Olny srmat poelpe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch sduty at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are. The olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

If you can raed tihs psas it on !!

**As with all of my “keepers”, I did not write this.  I simply found it to be worth sharing.

Mugging for the camera.

One of the first posts I wrote for this blog was called, “In cards and love, it’s all about the hand you’re holding“.  It was the first of many posts I’ve written about my wonderful wife.  Although, I’ve been a bit remiss in not praising her publicly over the past 6 months or so.  We’ve been living life “out on the limb” for the past 6 months, and it has been a challenge on many fronts.  Thankfully, our relationship has not been one of those challenges.  She makes my life so much easier.  I have simply never met a better person.

We’ve spent months with very little income, having to borrow money at times, but allowing ourselves to dream a bit of a future we believe God has in store for us.  Though there are still major challenges in the days to come, she never waivers.  Her faith builds mine.  She does not complain.  She does not criticize.  She builds me up.  Although I have not made the most seamless transition from full-time employment to self-employment, she keeps me looking at the big picture, and reminds me that not a single thing that happens surprises God.

I recently gave her a card that I thought put it absolutely perfectly.  It read, “You are the one who…  Finds my stuff…  loves my quirks…  takes my side…  knows my stories…  gets my jokes…  soothes my worries…  finishes my sentences…  The one who makes all my days better…  and makes me a better me.”

Though some would call it “cheesy” or “sappy”, I find it beautiful and wonderful that both of the Valentine’s Day cards we gave each other mentioned the fact that we are best friends.  And we are.  Although I dream of traveling the world with her, we have yet to take a honeymoon (married 2 and a half years).  Although I dream of fixing up the house we share, we were warm (mostly) and dry all winter.  The truth is that when the transformer blows and kills our microwave; when a rat dies in the basement, and we don’t know it for a week (when she notes and identifies the odor); when the windows leak both water and cold, cold air; — whatever life may and will bring our way — there is no one I would rather have on my side, and there is no hand I would rather hold to walk through this life.

Just as the word “awesome” has become so grossly over-used that it bears very little resemblance to what it meant 30 years ago, “hallowed” has seemingly lost its effect.  I dare say there’s not a kid under the age of 10 who could effectively and accurately define what “awe” means.  The same goes for “hallowed”.  They will only think they know, because they have seen Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.

It is often asked, “Is nothing sacred?”  Sadly, no, not really.  Not for most people.  Most kids are being raised with a healthy respect for nothing but themselves.  And while it is very important to instill self-respect within a child, it is equally, if not more important to instill within a child reverential respect for something greater than them – greater than this world.

I am reminded of a Contemporary Christian song by MercyMe called, “I Can Only Imagine”.  The song is describing the scene when the narrating Christian sees Jesus in Heaven.  Among the many questions asked in the song is, “Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall?”  I have to ask myself, do I truly have even the slightest concept of the power, awe, and reverence for anything that it would take for me to simply fall to my knees in humility?  Our culture is so engrossed with fighting for your rights and rising from your knees – and there are times for those things – but there are also times for admitting that the world does not revolve around you.

Seriously, what or who would cause your tongue to fail you, and your head to bow as you fall to your knees out of fear, respect, humility, and awe?  A celebrity?  Michael Jordan?  Justin Beiber?  Bono?  Certainly not a politician, as they all become the target of accusations and disrespect the moment they are elected.  The Pope?  A huge, amazingly and ornately decorated 200-year-old cathedral?  Niagara Falls?  The Grand Canyon?  An Angel, perhaps, of the kind that the shepherds saw in the story of Jesus’ birth?  Anything?

I can think of very few things that are of this world that have that effect on me.  I don’t even really know where I’m going with this except to say that it is sad to me that things like humility, and reverence, and awe, and hallowed-ness, and even respect are becoming a lost art.  The bravado of youth can only get you so far in life.

If you do a Google image search using the phrase “hallowed ground”, what do you think you will see?  How about 90% basketball shoes,  multiple horror movies, an album by the Violent Femmes, and a handful of book covers ranging from golf to Gettysburg to Arlington National Cemetery?  Obviously, those last two come the closest to accurately representing modern-day hallowed ground.  Sadly, apart from a horror film or cemetery cross here and there, there was not a single image depicting anything pertaining to faith or religion.  The reason I say “sadly” is that “hallowed” actually means “to honor as holy”, and “holy” has its roots planted firmly in faith and religion.  Sometimes change is not good.

Basketball shoes?  Really?  How sad.

My wife wanted to buy some moth balls to keep the neighbor’s cats
from using our plant beds as a litter box.  I’m all for keeping the cats out,
but I just hate the thought of all those sweet little castrated moths.

I wonder if rams get concussions.  And what the NFL could learn from them?

Cross me and there will be Hades Hairpiece (Hell Toupee)!

(I am in no way implying that an Iranian is a dog.  Just a funny pic)

My Heart Will Know Your Name

When the days we’ve yet to spend together
Number fewer than the ones we’ve lived
And the hands of time won’t stop their turning
Though there’s nothing that we wouldn’t give
Should a lifetime full of memories fade
Like castles in the sand beneath the tide
When my mind can’t do the same
My heart will know your name

When our dreams of long and distant journeys
Turn to hand-held walks beside a stream
I will always be your dancing jester
Living to bring laughter to my queen
But if wit and humor leave me
‘Neath the weight of facing mysteries unseen
When my lips can’t say the same
My heart will know your name

When we sit a while in timeless comfort
Peaceful just to be, side by side
When the laughter fades to knowing silence
And all the tears have dried
If my countenance is empty
Never doubt the fiery love that burns inside
When my eyes have lost the flame
My heart will know your name

© 2011 Marcus Rowe