Crack House + Bill Engvall + Volcano Taco =

My wife and I are looking at houses, hoping to buy in the near future.  We actually had an accepted offer on the little house of our dreams until we pulled it yesterday.  Call us crazy, but we just didn’t want to pay for $20,000 in structural upgrades to make it stable.  Thankfully, the good Lord and the structural engineer who inspected it were on our side.

The Money Pit

As I look back on it, I realize that this seemingly storybook house was a good $30,000 less than most of the other homes we were looking at, and I realize that there’s a reason for that.   If you find a house that seems perfect for you – the right size, a nice yard – at half the price of similar homes, there’s a reason (it’s probably wedged in between a crack house and the railroad tracks).  And don’t get me started on the falsification of the photographs that accompany real estate listings.  If you find a house that appears – via those online photos – to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, in a great neighborhood, at a great price, but it’s been on the market for a year and a half, there’s a reason (could be that sink-in-the-master-bedroom thing…  Or termites… Or black mold…)

Of course, as far as houses go, we’re still looking for that one exception to the rule – that diamond in the rough that flies mysteriously under everyone else’s radar but ours, and turns out to be everything it appears to be.  In the end, however, we may succumb to the whole “you get what you pay for” mentality and call it a day.  If it seems to good too be true, it probably is.

I’ve realized lately that the whole “there’s a reason” concept applies to many different areas of my life, including people.  It’s kind of like the old Bill Engvall routine, “Here’s your sign.”  For instance, if you walk into a room and everyone quickly moves to create a buffer zone between themselves and you – there’s a reason (you could probably use a shower).  If you’ve noticed that fewer and fewer of your “friends” are replying to your several-times-a-day calls, texts, and emails – there’s a reason (chillax on the contacts, Max).  If you’re my ex-wife instead of my wife…  Well, never mind.

Some of these “there’s a reason” mentalities can be more serious and hard to accept.  I’m not about to say it to anyone’s face (there but for the grace of God go I) but samples would be:  If you’re stuck in a dead end job, there’s a reason (you’re afraid to take a leap of faith and try something new).  If your dating relationships keep ending abruptly, there’s a reason (could be that “need a shower” thing).  If your life seems lost and aimless and hopeless and lonely, there’s a reason (accept the reality that there is something more to this life).

There are every day applications as well.  If your car’s engine sounds like gravel in hub cap, there’s a reason (you thought Jiffy Lube said, “every 30,000 miles”).  If your stomach is a painful cauldron of bubbling lava, there’s a reason (Taco Bell doesn’t call it the “Volcano Taco” for nothing).  If you got kicked off the reality show you further neglected your children to appear on, there’s a reason  (not that I’ve ever watched a reality show…).

If you read all the way to the end of this post, there’s a reason (you really hate your job and would do anything to keep from actually doing it.  OR, you laughed at or related to at least one thing I said, in which case you should probably go ahead and subscribe to this blog!).  Thanks for stopping by.


~ by suitenectar on April 22, 2010.

One Response to “Crack House + Bill Engvall + Volcano Taco =”

  1. I read through the whole thing to find that you’re right…I do hate my job and would do anything to keep from actually doing it. You’re like a therapist…and you don’t even know it.

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