34 Things that Make You Go Hmmmm…

As with all of my “keepers”, I didn’t write this content.  I simply found it to be worth sharing!

34 Things that make you go Hmmmm…

1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..

3.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still  have monkeys and
apes?

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the
self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?!

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do Forest Rangers go to “get away from it all?”

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone
will clean them?

6. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If  the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns,  do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have “S” in  it?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If  you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
disoriented?

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

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~ by suitenectar on July 7, 2010.

2 Responses to “34 Things that Make You Go Hmmmm…”

  1. Seriously, does sour cream go bad? LOL Thanks for making me laugh 🙂

  2. This post got me rolling on the floor laughing. LOL. :-))

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