It’s Not About the Music – Chapter 9 of It’s Not About the Wedding

Just because the two of you are going to make beautiful music together for the rest of your lives doesn’t mean you should stress about the music for your wedding.  I wrote my first song at the age of 9 and majored in music in college, and yet, there was not a single note of music in my wedding.  That didn’t make it any less meaningful or powerful.

Hollywood movies would have you believe that walking down the aisle to Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” (also known as “Here Comes the Bride”) is a prerequisite for getting married.  Obviously, this is simply not true.  If she wanted to, the blushing bride could saunter down the aisle to anything from the Macarena to a funeral dirge.  It wouldn’t change what is about to take place.  As mentioned in Chapter 8, many people consider a wedding ceremony to be a worship service.  If you are one of these people, you may want to forego the Macarena for something along the lines of “The Lord’s Prayer”.

If you’re musically inclined, you may choose to perform a song as part of the ceremony.  A good friend of mine, Gordon Mote ( is an incredible musician and performer who has been blind since birth.  I still remember hearing him sing, as part of his wedding, a song that he wrote for his bride-to-be called, “If They Could See You Through My Eyes”.  I am certain that his wife of 18 years remembers that moment too.

Once you’ve decided which music to include, then comes the matter of how it is to be presented.  I have been to weddings that incorporated a wide variety of musicians and/or performances including string quartets, pipe organs, vocalists, bagpipes, and yes, even pre-recorded music.  No one is going to mind one bit if you walk down the aisle to music playing on a CD instead of a live string quartet.

Recessional music can be traditional or creative as well.  My sister always joked about using the Hallelujah Chorus.  As a teenager, I joked that I wanted to use “Boom, Boom, Boom (Let’s Go Back to My Room)”.  Undoubtedly, most of you have never heard of that song.  It’s from 1987.  I’ve just dated myself.

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, music isn’t required at all.  The point is that this is your wedding.  If you choose to include music, it is a simple yet effective way to place your unique stamp on the event.   Just remember that music is not what makes a wedding, or a marriage, successful.

This is the 9th in a series of 16 chapters from a new manuscript I am working on called It’s Not About the Wedding: A Common Sense Guide to Getting it Right the First Time, or Any Time.  I would love to receive any and all positive or negative feedback on this topic, particularly from those of you who are perhaps currently engaged to be married!  Stay tuned for subsequent chapters to follow…


~ by suitenectar on September 10, 2010.

One Response to “It’s Not About the Music – Chapter 9 of It’s Not About the Wedding”

  1. I remember “Boom Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room).” It’s a classic! Ha! My cousin had all sorts of songs at his wedding…everything from Kanye West to Bach…and it was so incredibly memorable because of it. I guess you had to be there, but the music montage really set a loving, yet fun, tone for the wedding. Oh, and I’m going to have “Rocky Top” at my wedding…one way or another. Ha!

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