Sometimes, you just have to go out on a limb. After all, that’s where the fruit is.

•March 9, 2010 • 1 Comment

It’s often referred to as a “leap of faith”.  However, it doesn’t always have to be a leap.  Sometimes, it’s simply a step of faith.  The number one reason why many people’s dreams or plans or hopes or visions never come to fruition is simply because they never get started in the first place.  It’s easy to either become complacent with where we are in life, or to be fearful of failure.  It’s easy to be lulled into complacency by that steady paycheck, particularly if you are also a slave to debt.  Right now, you can’t live without that paycheck, so you certainly don’t want to do anything to jeopardize its continued receipt.  Honestly though, don’t you have an hour a week to begin looking into the possibility of pursuing something you really want to pursue?  Couldn’t you turn off “The Bachelor” for an hour?  Couldn’t you log off of Facebook for an hour?  Couldn’t your hubby watch the kids for an hour so you can go to the library?  We are all busy, but busy does not equal happy.

My own company is in its infancy.  I am still a slave to my “day job” paycheck.  However, things are moving in the right direction.  The small steps of faith I took in establishing my LLC and beginning to pursue new projects and clients are beginning to bear fruit.  Now, I’m talking grapes and kiwi, not watermelon.  I am seeking much larger fruit and more of it, but the doors God is opening on a regular basis assure me that I am on the right path.

You don’t necessarily quit your job, sell the farm, and live in your van to begin the journey to doing something you really enjoy doing and using the gifts and talents you have been blessed with…  but you must do something.

One Sunday in class at my church, I heard a wonderful illustration.  Many of us are familiar with Psalm 119:105, which says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”  Sometimes, our path is not as clear and obvious as we would hope.  Sometimes, there is no floodlight that shines like headlights down a road to show us the things we will encounter 100 feet down this path so that we can prepare for them.  Sometimes, the light that guides us is more like a small, focused flashlight that points nearly straight down right in front of us, illuminating only the place where we are to take the next step.  Once we have taken that step, the next step guide light will appear, and so on.

In this scenario, if we never take that first small step, the path will remain dark forever.  Do you really always want to wonder, in the back of your mind, “what if?”  Dream it.  Believe it.  Think it.  Pray it.  Do it.

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind 3/5/10

•March 5, 2010 • Leave a Comment

If the shoe was on the other foot, you’d probably get a blister.

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind 2/23/10

•February 23, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I’d rather say something I might regret than regret not saying something I should have said.

When the Ship Hits the Sand (At Least It’s Dry Land)

•February 18, 2010 • 1 Comment

I had one of those moments this week – actually more than one – where I was asked to make a call or send an email that I was just sure would set off the end of the world.  This was a business situation, which is actually easier for me than some of the hyper-sensitive personal issues life can bring about.  So, I dreaded making the call and sending the email – taking the responsibility that has become part of my day-to-day job.  I feared the replies that would surely come in ALL CAPS!  I feared the calls that would follow, with voices raised and expletives flying.  I feared not being able to keep my own temper in check when confronted.  Sometimes we build up possible confrontations in our mind so much that when the issue at hand comes and goes, all that’s left to say is, “That wasn’t so bad.”

So here I am, managing the fallout, which was considerably less substantial than I thought it would be.

John Mayer says, “Say what you need to say.”  Good advice.  My boss told me before I took action that there was nothing we could do about the possibly inflammatory information I was providing.  Facts are facts, numbers are numbers, period.  Tell the truth.  Even if the situation does prove to be inflammatory, a week from now you will be much better off being able to look back on the situation rather than to be still dreading the possibilities.

These concepts definitely do apply to our personal lives as well.  My friends and I are at the age where many of us are beginning to lose our parents.  How many things will be left unsaid when yours are gone?  A couple of years ago, my dad began to have some health issues.  Right around the same time, it seemed like every show on TV had a storyline about losing a parent – a father, in particular.  I started typing out a Word document that grew to multiple pages, filled with things I wanted to make sure my dad (and mom) knew – just in case.  These were small details and funny stories I remember from my childhood; favorite things about each of my parents that they probably didn’t even know I noticed or remembered; lists of things I have learned from them, either through specific teaching or just by their example.  In my situation, there was no confrontational tilt to anything I wrote, but I know it’s not that way for everyone.

I didn’t intend for this to become the “Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say” post.  Still, the point has become this:  Nine out of ten times, the ramifications from saying something that needs to be said, even to someone you love, are not as bad as they have been built up to be in your mind.  To quote one of my song lyrics, “I’d rather say something I might regret than regret not saying something I should have said.”  Of course, you have to be tactful about it – try to focus on the positive – don’t create an argument where there might not actually be one.  I just can’t imagine having a parent, my wife, my children taken away from me suddenly, and regretting never telling them so many things.

So take courage and press on.  Deal with life and be glad you have it.  So what if the ship hits the sand (so to speak)?  At least you’ll be on dry land.

Don’t let someone else’s “Nojo” put a damper on your Mojo.

•February 9, 2010 • Leave a Comment

There are many definitions of the word “mojo”.  Here are a few that relate to this post:

1. n. Personal magnetism; charm.

2. n. Power; charisma. : She seemed to radiate a penetrating mojo that made her easy to deal with.

3. n. Supernatural power or luck.

4. n. Self-confidence, Self-assuredness. As in basis for belief in one’s self in a situation.

5. n. The ability to bounce back from a debilitating trauma and negative attitude.

6. n. That quality, often elusive, that sets a person apart from everyone else.

Mojo is a very important component of success and/or contentment in life.  It took me about 35 years to find my mojo.  Oh, there were periods in my life where I exuded self-confidence, but it was mostly a facade.  It only took one person, with whom I began to spend a lot of time, to make that facade a semi-permanent wall behind which my true self – and my mojo – was hidden away.  This person was my Nojo.

What’s a Nojo, you ask?  Nojo stands for “No joy”.  A Nojo is a discourager, a downer, a buzz kill.  A Nojo is a dream killer who – knowingly or unknowingly – puts their dreams and needs and ambitions above everyone else’s.  Your Nojo could be your boss, your supposed best friend, even your spouse.  Obviously, you can’t simply ignore these people – they are a big part of your life.  However, you must develop a filter that enables you to “take note” of their thoughts and opinions without letting them dictate your path.

Here’s the deal:  Only dreamer’s dreams come true.  There is tangible value in having a realist in your life – someone who may be able to point out legitimate flaws in your hair-brained ideas.  However, you must press on toward the goal.  When they point out that flaw in your theory, learn from it.  Find a way around it.  Use the intelligence, skills, and tools that God has given you.  Find your mojo.

In fact, I have a new definition for mojo…  Perhaps it could be an abbreviation for “More joy”?

The Plague of Busy Work

•February 8, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I guess this is part 2 of “What are you working for?”  I’m stunned to realize not only how much of any given work day, but also how many entire work days are spent doing things that I neither want to or need to do.  Days and weeks fly by filled with “busy work” that does nothing but feed the machine.

The wants:  I want to work on what I want to work on.  Writing.  Surfing the net.  Being creative.  Pitching my book.  Updating my Facebook status.  Writing this blog.  Helping people.  Donating my time and skills.  Thinking up new ways to better life for my wife and kids.

The needs:  Simple errands that are part of every day life.  Grocery runs.  Checking my post office box (this has become a less than weekly thing).  Putting gas in the car.  Getting the oil changed in my Escape (I’m only 3000 miles past 3000 miles).  Swapping out my daughter’s dead red glow fish for one that doesn’t float.

Sometimes, at the end of the day or week, some of these things have been little more than a passing thought.  So what on earth have I done all day?  Often, it’s hard to remember.  My wife may ask me what I did today, and I really, really have to think about it.  Too often, in truth, the answer is “nothing of consequence.”

Most of us are, on some level, slaves to the paycheck.  Work is a necessary evil, but I encourage you to strive each day to do at least one thing that you want to do (or at least need to do!).   On the days where I do manage to squeeze these things in, they are what I want to share with my wife when I get home.  “Today I wrote another chapter in my next book on my lunch break.”  That’s much more likely to come out of my mouth than “I spent an hour and a half on a conference call that I had no business being on, and never said a word.”

Sure, being “busy” with the tedium of work beats the alternative of joblessness.  Still, whenever you can, busy yourself with some little thing that will better your life, or someone else’s.

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind 2/1/10

•February 1, 2010 • Leave a Comment

The lows of love are so much higher than the highs of loneliness.

What Are You Working For?

•January 31, 2010 • 1 Comment

This is the beginning of what I hope is a long and successful journey for me – a change in direction career-wise.  I’m throwing away the phrase “It looks good on a resumé” because I really hope I never have to look for another “job” again.  Last week, on the same day that I received a promotion (in title and responsibility only) at my 9 to 5, I took delivery of the first 500 copies of my first book.  I also worked with a friend to finalize the details of my web site, enabling the sale of the book through the site, and sent out numerous emails to local vendors about the book.  I sent a message to every one of my Facebook friends.  From this point on, I’m hoping to do something each and every day to forward the growth of this book and my company, Nectar Media (nectar.us.com).

Nectar Media LogoAt some point in early 2008, I grew tired of business as usual at my job of 5+ years.  Aware of the fact that many of my friends were out of work or stuck in a much less tolerable job, I realized that I had to start working toward something better.  I asked myself, “What are you working for?”  The answer, as it is for many people, was “a paycheck”.  That is really sad.  I don’t believe that’s the way God intended it to be.  Work is a necessary thing, but it should be satisfying.  At the end of the day, you should feel as if you have accomplished something.   There should be at least a small amount of pride in what you do.  You should not have to do or say anything that is out of character for you as a person.  You should not feel trapped.  And yet, so many are.  I believe it was Harvey Mackay who said, “Find something you love to do, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”.  Wise, wise words.

So I asked myself again, as I have done several times in my life, “What do you want to do?”.  It’s the adult version of “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Add to this the identity question of “Who am I?”  For most of my life I would have answered that question with something musical – a singer, a pianist, a songwriter.  Several years ago, for various reasons, I pretty much hung up the music.  I needed a break, and I had finally found someone who loved me for the person I am, and not for the song I could write for them or the star I might (in theory) become.  The several years since have been some of the happiest of my life, but once I began to search for a professional identity I began to sense that the writer part of songwriter was still in me.  Now I had the answer to the big question:  I want to write.

Facebook actually helped feed this desire.  I love coming up with short little sayings or thoughts for my status that get a response out of people.  I gradually started keeping track of the good ones, and added in some other things I’d written in the past (song titles/lyrics, etc.).  The hope is that those and the “Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind” posted here will become a book of their own down the road.

In fact, it’s not only writing that I love.  It’s being creative in general.  I think that was always my favorite part of writing a song – creating something from scratch that could move a listener to tears.  I deeply enjoy graphic design as well, and have taught myself to do quite a bit of it over the years.  I have friends who do design for a living, and I would never claim to “be a graphic designer”.  All I know is that when I’m working on either a writing or a design project, I often find that hours have passed in the blink of an eye.  Every time this happens, I wish there were more hours in the day because I don’t want to stop working on that project.  Imagine getting paid to do something you could spend 8 hours a day working on and still wish you could keep on working.

So here I am, a writer, still a slave to the man but finding time to move forward with what I really want to do too.  I am working, in both jobs, for the common goal of writing for a living.  My “day job” pays the bills, and recent developments may allow me to have slightly more control over being proud of what I do.  What am I working for?  My hope is that by this time next year, I will be able to answer that question in a different way…  to entertain… to make a difference… to share the creativity God has given me with the world… to make my children proud… to make people smile or laugh… because it’s fun.  Heaven forbid you actually enjoy what you do every day.  Precious few people can say that.

What are you working for?

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind 1/27/10

•January 27, 2010 • 2 Comments

Shouldn’t ground pork be called “groundhog”?

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind 1/24/10

•January 24, 2010 • Leave a Comment

If you ask the same question enough times, someone is bound to give you the answer you want to hear.  However, that doesn’t mean it’s the truth.

 
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