I’d Write A Song

•May 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

My Mysterious Muse

I’d Write A Song (for my amazing bride)

I’d write a song for every girl I had a crush on
They’d melt like butter when I sang them their own love song
But I knew this was different from the moment that we met
I just haven’t found a way to say it yet

If I thought the words existed to describe the way I feel
Or a tune that makes my heart dance like you do
I would sing to all the world about how much I love you girl
If there was a way to capture love this strong
I’d write a song

We make each other CD love song compilations
Search high and low for the perfect combination
But no one’s ever sung about such a convoluted love
All the world sees is a diamond in the rough

If I thought the words existed to describe the way I feel
Or a tune that makes my heart dance like you do
I would sing to all the world about how much I love you girl
If there was a way to capture love this strong
I’d write a song

I could fill the pages of a million books
With tales of every love that’s ever been
You tell me all I need to know with just one look
It’s a story that I know will never end

If I thought the words existed to describe the way I feel
Or a tune that makes my heart dance like you do
I would sing to all the world about how much I love you girl
If there was a way to capture love this strong
I’d write a song

© 2012 Marcus Rowe


Pun Intended, The Sequel

•April 27, 2012 • Leave a Comment

When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope there’s no pop quiz.
I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
Velcro — what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington D.C. was obviously the government’s fault.
Be kind to your dentist.  He has fillings, too.

As with all of my “keepers”, I did not write this.  I simply found it to be worthy of sharing.

Moved By The Mountain

•April 26, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Five hundred twenty-two days.  Or, 1 year, 5 months, and 5 days.  This was the length of the most recent – and perhaps the most challenging – trial I have faced in my nearly 40 years of life.  It’s still not 100% officially behind me, but God willing, I believe it may be over.  I would like to believe that I am not the same person I was before it.  I believe that I have gained a new perspective on life, on faith, on patience, and perseverance.

I have never literally climbed a mountain, but it isn’t too hard to imagine some aspects of what it must be like.  Obviously, by the time you’ve made it all the way to the summit and back down again, you are both physically and mentally exhausted.  That I can relate to.  I imagine you also learn a lot along the way – new, more effective ways to analyze, interpret, and overcome the challenges laid out before you.  Also, although your muscles would surely ache for days and days, in truth, you would come down that mountain physically stronger than you were at the start of your ascent.  I envision an intriguing juxtaposition of humility – given the scale, power, and majesty of nature compared to just one person – and new-found confidence – given the fact that you have just conquered said power and majesty.

It has, in all, been a very humbling experience for me.  My successes and victories have come not by my own strength, as they might when climbing a mountain, but solely by grace, mercy, and unmerited favor from above.  I have come out on top in spite of myself, evaluated not on the merits of my decisions or actions, but by the generally pure intentions and motivations of my heart.  Of course I desire success and everything that comes with it – respect, admiration, financial freedom – but my desire to honor God, and to display the fruit of the Spirit in my life, has become more important to me.  The challenges of my mountain have shown me what is really important in life.

At my lowest point, I clung to the fact that no matter what the outcome – and there were potentially dire, life-changing consequences – nothing could change the love of my family or my Lord.  I learned to rest in that.

Looking at the picture above, which is one of my favorites, the only thing I can’t directly relate to is this:  That man, having climbed to the highest peak of that mountain, must truly feel a huge sense of accomplishment.  While I do feel some of that, what I feel is much, much more a sense of gratitude.  For the path that led me up and over this mountain – the steps that led me around the falling rocks on my ascent – the hand that would not provide a foothold for my oppressors – none of it was of my doing.  Every door that opened, and every hand that reached down to help me up and over the next ledge, was the hand of God.

The mountains in your life will change you, if you let them.  And if you accept the physical concept of heaven being “up” toward the sky, then they will both literally and spiritually do what every soul truly desires deep down inside – they will bring you closer to your Creator.

My Heart Will Know Your Name

•April 9, 2012 • 3 Comments

My Heart Will Know Your Name

When the days we’ve yet to spend together
Number fewer than the ones we’ve lived
And the hands of time won’t stop their turning
Though there’s nothing that we wouldn’t give
Should a lifetime full of memories fade
Like castles made of sand in tide and wind
When my mind can’t do the same
My heart will know your name

When our dreams of long and distant journeys
Turn to hand-held walks beside a stream
I will always be your dancing jester
Living to bring laughter to my queen
But if wit and humor leave me
‘Neath the weight of facing mysteries unseen
When my lips can’t say the same
My heart will know your name

When we sit a while in timeless comfort
Peaceful just to be, side by side
When the laughter fades to knowing silence
And all the tears have dried
If my countenance is empty
Never doubt the fiery love that burns inside
When my eyes have lost the flame
My heart will know your name

© 2011 Marcus Rowe

We’ll Get There When We Get There

•April 2, 2012 • 2 Comments

If you are a parent, or you’ve ever had a parent, there are certain phrases that you’re probably familiar with.  “Because I said so.”  “Are we there yet?”  “It’s not fair!”  “You will eat it and you will like it.”  “As long as you live under my roof…”  and of course, the perennial favorite, “We’ll get there when we get there!”  It was this last one that came to me in a very interesting way last Sunday.

You see, for the past year and a half, my life has been a series of moving finish lines.  Massive risks and potentially devastating challenges have hung in the balance with extremely rewarding successes.  Countless times, I thought the end was in sight, and that victory and rest were in reach.  Countless times, the finish line was suddenly moved further back – sometimes by months at a time.  These setbacks have the potential to be knock-out blows if you let them.  Each time, it gets harder and harder to get back up.  But you must keep going.

At times, it has felt as if I was climbing a mountain.  Looking nearly straight up the face of the sheer cliff I’m climbing, dodging falling rocks and at times hanging on for dear life, I could see the summit just ahead.  Except that upon grasping that ledge and pulling myself up, I learned that it was simply a stop on the way to the top, as the real summit loomed overwhelmingly before me.

Both of these analogies came to me in church on Sunday.  I believe that God waits for us to get to that point where we realize that we are totally helpless apart from Him.  I run my own business.  I answer to no one but myself for many things.  But as success has come to the business, the scale of the ups and downs has grown.  The fact that my peace of mind is greatly affected by the ebbs and flows of these daily swings of the pendulum is quite disturbing.  I want to be more even-keeled.  I want to rest in the plans (Jeremiah 29:11) God has for me.  If there is one thing I have learned over the past year and a half, it is this:  Don’t panic.  And yet I do.

And so it was that I walked to the front of the church during a time of song and worship, to take the bread and the wine, and to kneel and have a little chat with my Lord.  “You, Lord.  I want more of you.  Less of me.  Sometimes I feel as if we’re never going to reach the end of these challenges.  The finish line keeps moving.  The summit turns out to be simply a stop on the way there.  Give me courage and strength to persevere.”

In that moment, as has been the case in the few times in my life when I truly feel that I have heard directly from the Holy Spirit, I didn’t hear “a voice” in response.  In fact, I didn’t hear anything.  Instead, an entire sentence, fully formed and perfectly complete, appeared as if written across my mind.

“We’ll get there when we get there.”

I literally chuckled out loud.  Thankfully, no one heard my laughter above the music.  What a wonderful and simple truth.  How could I know that this unassuming phrase – one that had been uttered by my parents to me, and that I have spoken on more than one occasion to my kids – could provide such a profound sense of peace to me at that moment.

“We’ll get there when we get there.”

In the mean time, press on.  You be you.  Let God be God, always giving thanks.  His plan is perfect, and perfection can’t be rushed.

Men Teaching Classes for Women

•March 29, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Strong WomanMen Teaching
Classes for Women at


By Mon, April 2, 2012


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down,

Or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11

Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes

Without Throwing Passengers

Through the Windshield
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day…
And to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor!

As with all of my “keepers”, I did not write this.  I simply found it to be worthy of sharing.

Me and the dogs and God

•February 29, 2012 • 3 Comments

I spent quite a magical 10 minutes outside on the back deck last night, just me and the dogs and God.  It was still 61 degrees at 11pm on February 28th.  I’m not sure if that will ever happen again in Nashville in my lifetime.  The wind was blowing gently through the trees – I felt its coolness on my short-sleeved arms –  and the cable on my neighbor’s flag pole was clanging steadily.  As my dogs, Bella and Dexter, set off to do their business, the perfection of the moment became evident to me – so much so that I chuckled out loud.  I’m not sure I have ever been so certain of God’s physical presence.  This is what life is all about.  I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to breathe in the peaceful moment.

Bella (left) and Dexter (right).

Bella (left) and Dexter (right).

I sat down on the steps and was overcome with an emotional concoction of gratefulness, humility, shame, and peace – moved as I seldom am to physically bow my head and literally raise my hands to Him.  “I am yours, Lord.  I am yours.”  I continued to pray – it was more like a simple conversation – until I soon felt the presence of Dexter, who had sidled up beside me and was leaning into me.  Moments later, Bella came up onto the deck, circled around and sat down on my other side, gently nudging me with her nose.  I smiled and said to her, “Hi, Baby.  Did you hear me talking to God?  Do you know God?  I’ll bet you do.  I’ll bet you know Him in ways I never could.”  After one last inventory of the scene, we were up and heading back into the house.

I have sung with a choir in Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.  I have driven a car more than 100 miles per hour.  I have seen U2 in concert six times.  I have been to the top of the Empire State Building.  I have met Garth Brooks and Willie Nelson.  I have become a published author.  I have received a standing ovation from a crowd of 10,000 people.  I have danced with my laughing daughters, and been taught grown-up lessons by my son.  I have done and seen many things in my nearly 40 years, but I have learned that it really is the simple things in life that matter the most.  Don’t rush through the days and weeks and miss out on them.  Watch for them.

This was 10 minutes.  10 minutes I will never forget.

Riddle of the Day 7/7/11

•July 7, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Riddle of the Day 


Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one. 

Madonna doesn’t have one.  

The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.  

Clinton uses his all the time. 

Obama is one. 

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.  

Liberace never gave his to a woman.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. 

Cher claims that she took on 3. 

We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. 

What is it? 

Answer below! (this is pretty good)

The answer is:  A last name!

Texting Codes for the Middle Aged

•May 25, 2011 • 1 Comment


ATD -at the doctor.
BFF -best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair.
BYOT -bring your own teeth.
FWIW -forgot where I was.
GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA -got heartburn again.
IMHO -is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR -on my massage recliner.
ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.
TTYL -talk to you louder!

What are some other ones?

*As with all of my “keepers”, I did not write these.  I just found them to be worthy of sharing.

Life in Limbo

•May 25, 2011 • 2 Comments

Maybe if he wasn't chubby, he could limbo lower...

Do you ever get the feeling that your life and dreams are “on hold”?  It’s almost as if you’re in an airplane that has traveled around the world to get to this wonderful destination, and now you’re stuck, circling in a holding pattern until “the tower” gives you permission to land.  Looking out your window, you can see the “promised land” below, filled with freedom and excitement.  Suddenly, a voice comes over the intercom stating that one of the engines is on fire.  Now your mind races back and forth between the thrill of “getting there” and the potential reality of a crash landing.  This has been my life for the past six months.

I really can’t go into too many details at this point.  Suffice it to say that this has been a period of great growth in my faith and in my relationship with the Holy Spirit.  I have often written of taking chances (Sometimes, you just have to go out on a limb. After all, that’s where the fruit is.) and living life one day at a time (Living in the Day), but sometimes it’s difficult for those two things to coexist.  We take chances because with great risk comes great reward, and we look forward to and work toward this great reward.  Living in the day requires being content with exactly where you are and what you have right now, and being grateful for the chance to live out this and every day.

And so, here I am, right where I have been for six months.  Sky high one moment with victories large and small.  Sick to my stomach in the next moment with fear of failure.  It’s an uncomfortable existence.  But there is so much to celebrate.

My home has not been destroyed by a tornado, like many in Birmingham, AL, Joplin, MO, Reading, KS, and other places.  My entire community has not been washed away like many who endured the tsunami in Japan.  My children don’t have cancer, while countless families are waging that battle.  I don’t worry about where my next meal will come from, like so many living on the streets.

Lord, please forgive my selfishness.  I wasn’t guaranteed today, and yet you allowed me to live it and filled it with blessings.  Please help me to see through the distractions of life to the everyday miracles around me.

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