There’s healing in the heartache
There’s comfort in the pain
I go walking through a memory
At the mention of her name
And you can see it on my face
My heart’s in a better place
Like rays of sunlight shining through the rain
There’s comfort in the pain
© 2010 Marcus Rowe
(As with any of my “Keepers”, I did not write this. I just like it!)
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting His name.
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
I never knew that cold turkey was so addictive. Everyone’s trying to quit!
The Greatest Superhero that ever lived had it all…
Power: He could heal the sick, give sight to the blind, and even raise the dead. He commanded demons and they fled in fear. He walked on water.
Wealth: All the riches of Heaven and Earth were His.
Adoration: All the angels of Heaven were commanded by God to worship Him.
Strength: The devil himself tempted Him time after time, but He never gave in to temptation. Not even once.
Intelligence: Time after time, the wisest teachers tried to trick Him. Every time, they were schooled by His perfect answers.
Yet when the time came for a hero to save the world, there was no flying bodybuilder type in a cape and mask. Instead, there was only a servant, a man.
He willingly surrendered all of His power.
He willingly gave up all of his riches.
He willingly exchanged adoration for humiliation.
He willingly held his tongue when mocked.
He willingly carried the weight of the sins of the world on his back.
The Greatest Superhero that ever lived, saved the world by dying on a cross. For me (and you).
If I was a dentist, I think I would start off every patient by snapping on my rubber gloves and gleefully shouting, “It’s time for your cavity search!” – Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind
I send and receive around 100 emails per day across the five different addresses I maintain on both my laptop and my Blackberry. Most come and go with little or no consequence. Many are total SPAM. A few, however, make it into a file I call “Keepers”. From time to time I’ll be digging into this treasure trove and sharing those unique, special, funny, or touching emails with you. These are not things that I have written. They are simply things I believe to be worthy of passing on.
“I grew up with practical parents who had been frightened by the Great Depression in the 1930’s. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.
“Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee-shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, the screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
“It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that repairing and renewing. I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there would always be more. But then my father died and on that clear fall night in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away never to return. So… while we have it… it’s best we love it… And care for it…. And fix it when it’s broken…. And heal it when it’s sick.
“This is true… For marriage…. And old cars…. And children with bad report cards….. And dogs and cats with bad hips…. And aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special….so, we keep them close! I received this from someone who thinks I am a ‘keeper,’ so I’ve sent it to the people I think of in the same way… Now it’s your turn to send this to those people who are ‘keepers’ in your life. Send it back to the person who sent it to you if he/she, too, is a ‘keeper’. Good friends are like stars…. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.
“Keep them close
“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want but rather the realization of how much you already have.”
Anonymous
My wife and I are very different people. Different from each other, that is. She’s a rural-raised, liberal-leaning, two-tattoo free spirit, and I’m a big-city-suburbia, conservative-leaning, mildly OCD technology junkie. As I mentioned in a previous post (In cards and love, it’s all about the hand you’re holding), given only each others’ statistics without an opportunity to meet, we wouldn’t have given each other the time of day. Somehow, the yin and the yang come together to create marital bliss.
Now, admittedly, she and I have only been married for a year and a half, and are supposedly still within that two-year “Honeymoon Phase”. That’s all well and good except that with the exception of a two-day excursion to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee two weeks ago, we’ve never had a honeymoon. I honestly believe that the way it is now between us is the way it’s going to be for the rest of our lives… for the most part.
I’m not foolish enough to believe that we will never have an argument, or disagree vehemently about something. We’ve already learned that our parenting styles are quite at odds, but have thus far managed to find a happy medium. Still, even when I envision the day when the silent treatment reigns; when doors slam and voices are raised; when you can simply feel the tension in the air; when tears fall; even then, I am and will be so in love with this person. My heart has found its home.
Somehow, in spite of the drama of every day life, I am resting in her love like I’m gently swinging in the breeze on a hammock; my eyes closed on a 70-degree Spring afternoon. Though I know that there will undoubtedly be hard times ahead – the death of a friend or family member; the loss of a job; untold trials of life – There is no one I would rather face them with than her.
Every relationship between a man and a woman brings with it some level of drama and intricacy. Is it worth it? Many opt for the single life believing that it is the simpler alternative. Perhaps, but not for me. This, this is the life for me. The lows of love are so much higher than the highs of loneliness.
This is the life
I’ve got everything I’ve ever needed
It feels so right
When the puzzle pieces are completed
and when I close my eyes
and picture the way it should be
This is the life I see
© 2010 Marcus Rowe
Honestly, why do gay bars even have a front door?
One of the great cards from iShirted.net
These days there’s a greeting card for just about anything. I needed one on Saturday, but didn’t have much luck in seeking out that perfect one that said, “I’m sorry I sat on the couch all weekend watching March Madness while you did the laundry, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, did the dishes, folded the laundry, and vacuumed.” I also couldn’t find one that said, “I’m sorry I told you that you were blocking the TV when you were vacuuming.” Still, I’d be willing to bet those cards exist.
The deterioration of the traditional nuclear family has only served to inspire the greeting card industry to become more specific. What’s a guy to do when it comes time for his ex-wife’s step-nephew’s kindergarten graduation? This also creates the whole “obscure family” scenario, where you may receive a holiday card from someone you’ve never heard of. 
Then there is the slightly snarky way the greeting card industry has created holidays out of thin air in order to get people to send more cards. As everyone knows, April is International Cesarean Awareness Month (seriously), but did you know that April is also the designated month for more than 50 other causes and organizations? Some other April examples include African American Women’s Fitness Month, Autism Awareness Month (that’s actually a great one), Fresh Florida Tomatoes Month, Workplace Conflict Awareness Month, and of course, Straw Hat Month. You can view a full list for each month at BrownieLocks.com Personally, I can envision a card that says, “Happy Workplace Conflict Awareness Month” on the front, and something like “JERK!” on the inside. That would be rich.
So, take heart in knowing that when you’re looking for a card for your second cousin’s friend’s dog’s owner for National Doghouse Repairs Month (July, by the way), one probably exists.
Little Drops of Nectar 